As much as I hate to use the phrase “B-List Guests,” I think its inevitable that we all have them.  Its completely unavoidable if you have parents who want to send out invitations just in case they wanted to come – mostly to be polite and to announce to them that I was getting married.  I gave my mom 24 “seats” and only 10 are coming – maybe 9.  So now my guest count is all off and I’m barely making my 85 minimum guarantee. 

Like I said, a B-List is inevitable sometimes.

My problem is not so much that I have B-List guests, but that I only ordered 60 full invitations.  I have extras of just the invitation layer, but I’m out of the backing layers and pocketfolds.  Tonight, after work, I will be at Kate’s Paperie looking for these items, or I will be stuck sending out the incomplete versions –  just the invitations and the RSVP card with tissue paper.

Tip 1:  Order much more invitations than you think you need. 

Speaking of RSVP cards…

I feel bad about inviting the B-List people because my reply card says respond by October 1, which is this Sunday.  Any person would be able to figure out that they were on the B-List.  I’m racking my brain to see if there is a tactful way to give these people their invitations while letting them know that they are “second-choice”.  I can just imagine:  “Hi, here are your invites.  Sorry that they are late, but we didn’t think we would be inviting you.” 

Had I known that I was going to end up with B-List guests, I would have had some reply cards printed with a later date. 

Tip 2:  If you expect to have a B-List, I would highly suggest getting two sets of reply cards, one set with a slightly later due date.

Are you having any B-List people at your wedding?  If so, how did you end up inviting them?

I don’t know if I’m really going to call it “The Story of Us” but it seems like a good starting point.  Now that my menus are done, the otherside of the tented cards will be a short timeline. 

We originally wanted to write a personal story about how we met, or how our relationship progressed, or something to that effect.  However, as I was attempting to write our story, I discovered that I suck at writing stories.  Mr. Butterfly, on the other hand, is great at them.  Unfortunately, we honestly could not think of any story to tell.  So we agreed on the timeline idea.

I don’t have any of the pictures yet, but this is the general idea.

{baby picture of Mr. Butterfly}
5/xx/197x
Mr. Butterfly is born

{baby picture of Ms. Butterfly}
6/xx/197x
Ms. Butterfly is born

{picture of Mr. and Ms. Butterfly together}
3/xx/2003
Mr. and Ms. Butterfly meet

{picture of my engagement ring}
2/3/2006
Mr. Butterfly proposes!!  Ms. Butterfly says Yes!

{image of wedding bells or wedding rings}
11/xx/2006
Mr. and Ms. Butterfly tie the knot!

Mr. and Mrs. Butterfly’s honeymoon destination:  3 nights in Puerto Rico at the Ritz, and 4 nights in Cap Juluca in Anguilla. 

I don’t know if I will have room for the honeymoon destination, but I thought it might be cute to put it in there because everyone will be asking anyway.  What do you think?

Between programs, menus, personal story, and table escort cards, I found menus to be the easiest to do.  Why?  My venue already provided the descriptions of the food, and Adrienne from Custom-Programs designed the rest! 

Here is what I am serving and what my menu looks like.  Imagine that it would be on one side of a tent card, where the menu itself is ecru cardstock and the backing is the same orange color that I used in my invitations.

<image here>

Now all I have to do is find an image of a cow and a fish that I like to put on top of the entrees.  Thank you to those who sent me links for images already!!  I’m still trying to decide which ones I like.  Some of the pictures look too cute for it to be appetizing.

Doesn’t the food sound absolutely delicious?  I had both dishes and the salad at my tasting, and I was so amazed at the quality of the food.  Everyone tells me that the food at the wedding is never as good as it is at the tasting.  But I think mine will be just as good, because they only brought out the dishes that were being served that night for a different wedding. 

On top of what I am serving here, I am also getting 2 vegan plates prepared that serves pasta with vegan pesto sauce and fresh vegetables. 

Finally, as a final touch which is not listed on my menu, I am having to-go cups of hot chocolate with some cookies served to guests as they are leaving.  My wedding is in November, and I am sure it will be cold.  This way, the guests will have something warm to drink on their way home, and its something unique!

I’m so hungry now!

 I suck at putting on makeup.  I can barely put on foundation, let alone do contours, shadowing and blending.  But, this weekend Ms. Snail did my makeup trial for the wedding, and she also taught me the basics of applying makeup. 

This is what she brought to the bachelorette weekend.  And this is not everything she owns!!! 

Before

During

After – it came out a bit orange because of the lighting outside, not because of what she put on me.

6 to 8 hours later

Mrs. Bee took extensive notes as I was getting my makeup done.  I couldn’t believe how much she put on me, and yet, it looks as if I barely have any on.  Isn’t Ms. Snail so talented??  I am so lucky to have her as my makeup artist!!!

 I should be working….but I can’t help myself!  I must update with the weekend’s festivities!

Friday night, I met up with Mrs. Bee at her place to eat dinner.  Then off to my MOH’s place to meet up with my bridesmaids.  We got to Avalon, NJ (where we were staying) a little after midnight.

The rest of the girls showed up around 1am with mountains of food and liquor.  We drank a little, but most importantly, I got to open my presents!!!  There were more than what I posted below.  The raunchy ones have been left out to protect the innocent (me!!!)

Please ignore the fact that I am in my Tinkerbell pajamas.

They all stayed up talking, but I was the first man down at 3:45am. 

The next day, we had brunch, then headed over to the beach.

Live clams that we stuffed into a bottle.

We then had our makeups done by the very talented Ms. Snail (a separate post to come…)

All the girls dressed up with me in the middle.  I’m wearing my bachelorette crown which caused a lot of stares in AC.  I didn’t think it was THAT raunchy…

We headed off to AC and gambled a bit.  I ended up losing $100 but I had fun nonetheless. 

Me and Mrs. Bee


7 glowing red rings for all of us


7 shots of….something.

We got back to our hotel around 3 or 4am, and played Taboo until the sun came up.  

Phew!!!  What a weekend!!  Thanks to everyone who made this weekend very special! 

 I must have tried on a dozen different wedding bands in my search for the perfect one.  In a previous blog, I wrote about the Tiffany’s wedding bands. 

We are still going with the 6mm platinum band for Mr. Butterfly.  I absolutely adore this band on him and I think it looks fantastic. 

For me, we were struggling with a decision on whether to try and replicate the one that I loved from Fortunoff, or just buy it directly from them.  With gift certificates and a 10% discount for registering, the ring that I want now is pretty affordable.  Also, we are having the ring shipped to the Best Man in Virginia, so we don’t have to pay taxes on it.  Woohoooo~!! No taxes!!   

Here is a (not very good) picture of the ring.  Seriously, this picture just doesn’t do it justice, but its the only one I have.  They only have 2 left in the entire company.  I’m so excited because its really unique!

AHHHHHHH!!  Now that the day is drawing nearer, I had to make a schedule of the day’s events.  It still hasnt hit me yet that I am actually getting married.  But making the schedule definitely helped cement that fact.  This is what’s happening on the wedding weekend.

November xx, 2006 – The Day before the Wedding

Until 1pm
Drop off everything at the venue and check that I packed everything for the weekend

1:30pm
Check in at hotel with my girls

1:30pm – 2:30pm
Have lunch

2:30pm – 5:30pm
Relax

5:30pm – 7:30pm
Rehearsal Dinner

7:30pm – not too late
Hang out with wedding party

November xx, 2006 – Day of the Wedding

9:00am – 11:00 am
Hair for me and the girls and my mom

11:30am – 12:30pm
Manicures for me and the girls and maybe my mom

12:45pm – 1:15pm
Eat in the hotel room; Mr. Butterfly and the men check into a different room in the hotel

1:15pm – 2:30pm
Get ready.  Photographers arrive at 1:30pm to take “getting ready” pictures for both men and women.

2:30pm – 4:00pm
Take pictures in the West Village

4:00pm – 4:45pm
Back to venue to take family portraits

4:45pm – 5:15pm
Rehearsal

5:30pm – 6:00pm
Guests arrive; Quartet starts playing background music

6:00pm – 6:25pm
Wedding ceremony!!  Cocktail Hour starts

6:45pm to 7:10pm
Paebaek Ceremony open to guests

7:30pm – 11:30pm
Dinner Reception

11:30pm – whenever
After party!!!

Now that the wedding is drawing nearer, I have become very conscious about the money I spend.  Only because I need to have enough left over to pay my vendors on the last week.  Can you imagine if I ran out of money?  Eeeek!! 

Anyway, one way that I am saving money (albeit only a hundred bucks or so), is to have “shared” menus at each table, instead of one menu per person.  I guess when I go to weddings, I only take the programs so I don’t think menus are as important.  But that’s just me.  So my menus will be in tent card form. 

I will have 3 per table, which should be plenty for the people to share.  However, I didn’t know what to put on the other side of the “tent”.  I didn’t want to leave it blank, so Mr. Butterfly and I have decided to write our story of how we met, or a timeline of our relationship, or something else personal.  I think that the guests will really enjoy reading about it. 

When I actually write the story, I will post it – I promise!!

Oh, the last detail of my menu that I really wanted is the pictures of the cow and the fish from a previous blog.  Since many of the guests are Korean and may not understand the menu, I wanted to put pictures of the animals on my menus too!  Does anyone know where I can get them?

Mommy Butterfly sent over some money yesterday to help pay for my wedding.  I truly appreciate that she’s paying for half of this because otherwise, I would never be able to have a wedding like this.  And so far, I feel that my wedding is turning out wonderfully! 

At first, I was going to deposit this cash, but realized that I need a lot of cash on the day of my wedding.  When I was going through my budget, it really hit me as to how much money is put into tips.  Mrs. Bee always told me that if the vendor owns their own company, you dont need to tip them.  My vendor also told me that I should tip the people who are working my wedding.  So these are the tips that I have calculated so far:

Maitre D – $400
Bridal Attendant – $200
Coatcheck – $200
DJ – $200
String Quartet – $80 to $100
Driver of Limo – $80 to $100
Hair – 20% of total
Parking Attendants – $40 per garage
Bartenders – $100 per bartender?

I think $100 per bartender should be enough, since there will be two of them.  Should it be $150 per person, instead?

Do you think I should also tip the event coordinator at my venue? What about my florist?  She doesnt own the shop, but she is the wedding person.

As for my photographer, I will probably send a very nice gift basket.

What are you doing for tips and how did you decide how much to give?

 Based on Mrs. Bee’s program, I have finally written up a draft.  I have been feeling guilty about not doing this for the past week, and it feels good to actually start on it.  

Cover

Ms. Butterfly

and

Mr. Butterfly

November xx, 2006

(image of double happiness from the invitation)

Twenty Four Fifth
New York City  

Page 1

The Marriage Ceremony
Uniting
Ms. Butterfly
and
Mr. Butterfly
on Saturday
xxxxxx of November
Two Thousand and Six
at xx O’Clock