Month: December 2006

  • What to do…?

    I have a dilemma. 

    I don’t really know what I’m going to do with my wedding dress.  I mean, I loved (LOVED!) my dress and yes, there are some sentimental attachments that I have developed in the past few months.  However, am I really going to wear it again?  And is anyone else really going to wear it?  Will my daughter (if I have a daughter) really want to wear my dress?  What about my baby cousin aka my junior bridesmaid?  Will she want to wear it 15 years from now?  I don’t think so. 

    So I want to donate it to the Bridal Garden. I mean, its only been worn once, plus its tax deductible!  And it could help a bride who’s on a budget. 

    But my husband thinks I should keep it and have it preserved.  I think he’s grown fond of it as well. 

    I’m torn.  Do I donate it for a good cause or do I preserve it for sentimental reasons?  Both are very compelling choices.  Help me!  What do I do?

    A.  Donate it
    B.  Preserve it
    C.  Sell it
    D.  Other

     

  • Etiquette?

    I’ve seen this question on many boards before, but I never seem to get a good answer. 

    There was a guest at our wedding who did not send us a gift.  Not that we expected gifts from everyone, but this particular guest said that the “gifts are on the way” during the wedding.  We have not received anything from this guest.  So now I’m calling the registries and trying to find out if maybe this person sent something and we just never got it.  But, it looks like we’ve received everything that was bought.  So now I’m trying to figure out maybe this person went off-registry?  Or maybe this person sent money?

    So, how do I find out if this person sent something and it got lost, or if they accidentally forgot to send something?

    What is the right etiquette?  I will thank this person for coming to the wedding, but I would feel horrible if I didn’t thank them for a gift, if there was a gift purchased. 

    What do I do?

  • Finally…..Honeymoon Pictures!

    I am not a picture taker.  In fact, about half the time on our honeymoon, I didn’t even have my camera on me.  Yes, I am horrible!  We ended up with only 2 good pictures of the two of us from the entire honeymoon!  But I will post about it anyway…..

    Part 1 – The Ritz Carlton in San Juan, Puerto Rico
    hm-pr   hm-pr
    Complimentary champagne on check-in, and a free bottle of champagne and stawberries on the first night!  And a little gesture by the cleaning staff!

    We went to eat at this cute little “Texan” place on our last night there.  Look at the size of those ribs!!!!!
    hm-pr

     hm-pr
    I don’t know why that guy is in our picture.

    Part 2 – Cap Juluca Resort, Anguilla, British West Indies
    hm-cj
    We were on our way to Anguilla when I took this picture from our ferry.  You have to go to St. Maarten, go through customs, then get on the ferry or a private boat or plane to get to Anguilla.  Then you go through customs again.  Yes, it is a process.  But it was worth it.

    hm
    Just look at the beach at Cap Juluca.  This resort was soooooooo worth the money.  I highly highly highly! recommend it.  You have your own beach chairs depending on which villa you are staying in, they bring you sorbet at 3pm every day on the beach.  They bring you ice cold towels during around noon.  Each villa beach area has their own attendant who takes care of your towel needs, watches your stuff, orders you food and brings it to you, etc.  Almost all water activities are included, so we even got to go sailing!

    hm-cj
    Breakfast is complimentary every morning, either on your private patio (ours above), or at a resort restaurant.  This is a good thing because breakfast costs easily over $50 for two!

    hm-cj hm-cj hm-cj hm-cj
    These are some of the other amenitites.  You get your own hammock, a giant two person bath tub, a mini fridge and a private walkway to the beach.  Yes, the beach was literally 50 feet from my room.  And a note about the mini-fridge:  its fully stocked with beer, soda, water, etc.  Everything is free, although only the water is restocked everyday.  They also give you TWO bottles of free rum!! 

    hm-cj

    We had such a wonderful time, and it was so relaxing.  We loved Cap Juluca so much that we’re definitely going back in the future. 

  • Things I Did Right

    I had so much help in planning my wedding, but to tell you the truth, you have no idea how your day is going to turn out.  Sure, a few minor details were missed.  And of course, I would change some things, in retrospect.  But I know there were more than a few things that I did right.  This is where talking to other brides, and going to other weddings really helped.

    1.  I scheduled in buffer time throughout the entire day.
    Starting the Friday before my wedding, the traffic was unbelievable.  I was late to everything, and everything took SO much longer than expected.  So it was a good thing that I had put in about 30 minutes of buffer time in between everything.  I scheduled hair from 9am to 12pm, even though I thought we’d be done by 11am.  We were done at 11:30.  Makeup was scheduled from 12 to 2pm, but because we ended hair early, we had enough time for the makeup for me and the bridesmaids. 

    2.  I didn’t travel in packs.
    I think I had the idea that I would be with my bridesmaids all day.  We’d all do our hair together, then all go for makeup, then all go to dress, etc.  However, I decided the week of the wedding that I would have 1 bridesmaid finish her hair and then go to the hotel for makeup early.  We had to switch rooms at noon (don’t ask – long story).  Either way, we got 2 bridesmaid makesups done before noon.  Then the rest of us got ready while the last bridesmaid was getting her makeup done.

    3.  I picked great vendors.
    I know this is sometimes hard to tell unless you’ve tried their service, but I went mostly on my gut instinct.  Did I screw up on the DJ?  Yes, but otherwise, every single vendor was amazing.  I picked my photographer because he had done the videography for my MOH’s wedding the prior year.  Plus, he is now friends with my MOH.  So I trusted him.  I picked my officiant because I had seen him marry another couple on one of the video samples that I saw.  I visited many, many venues and spoke with even more places before seeing Twenty Four Fifth.  I loved the space, and the coordinator was extremely professional.  You gotta love that!  Based on her recommendation, I picked a florist.  If I ever ran into a rude customer service agent at any vendor, I wrote them off very quickly and moved onto the next vendor. 

    4.  I put great bridal party/friends in charge.
    I cannot tell you how important this is.  I asked Mrs. Bee to coordinate my rehearsal because I didn’t want to do it myself.  I’m sure the venue would have helped, but Mrs. Bee knew me and knew my family.  She did an absolutely amazing job, and took on even more than she should have because she’s my friend.  She was there to help out starting at noon.  The Best Man was so reliable.  My MOH and bridesmaids were amazing.  The reason I mention this is, your MOH and Best Man are probably your closest friends or relatives.  However, maybe they are not the most reliable people in the world (mine rocked).  If they are not, then hand off some of the major responsibilities to someone you know and trust.  As much as it bothers me to say this, some people are not trustworthy, no matter how great of a friend they have been in the past.  Its a hard decision, but I think it really makes a difference in your day. 

    5.  I was not afraid to call, re-call, check and double check with my vendors.
    I started getting back in touch with my vendors about 4 to 6 weeks before the wedding.  Anytime I had a question, I would shoot an email.  In the last month of emails, I always reminded them about the little things they promised to do – such as remembering to say “you may kiss the bride”, or that the cake should be white, or that they promised a discount.  Do not be afraid to do this!  You don’t have to be mean or whining or feel like a nag – just be incredibly professional and remember that you and the vendors have a business relationship.  Yes, its your wedding and its personal, but for them, it is business.  Treat it like a business relationship, and they will respond to it.

    6.  I was not afraid to call, re-call, check and double check my guest list.
    Yes, I called my guests who had not responded by October 1st (6 weeks before the wedding).  I called them on the phone and asked if they planned on attending.  Then if I had any doubts about their answers, I called again two weeks later.  I kept calling until I had a definite yes/no from everyone.  The only two people who did not show up (out of 90) were one of my mom’s friends (which my mom didn’t tell me about) and one of my friend’s dates.  That’s a mere 2% of the final guest list who did not show.  I say that’s pretty darn good.

    7.  I didn’t freak out too much during the wedding day.
    At least I don’t think I did.  I was really worried about being a bridezilla.  Pretty much throughout the whole planning process, I kept my cool.  But your emotions are running high and the stress level is high, and its easy to let your emotions take over.  I know, becuase I let it happen once on my wedding day.  Other than that one incident, I really tried to keep my cool.  Like when Mrs. Bee said no one had seen the officiant, I didn’t freak out that much.  Instead, my first thought was “we have a judge on the guest list; if it comes down to it, he can marry us.”

    8.  I had fun!!!!
    I kept my thoughts on what I had to do next, in order for me to relax and have fun.  I didn’t think about everything I had to do that day, but only on what I had to do next.  For example, my heart starting beating like crazy when the bridal party started to walk down the aisle.  But my thought was, lets just get to the end of the aisle.  Then once I got there, all I could think about was, “when do I say my vows?”  After that, all I wanted to do was get to the kissing part (which is probably why Mrs. Bee says I shared a long kiss with the husband – but no tongue!!)  Then I just wanted to finish my first dance!  After that, it was all easy!

    Every single person I’ve talked to said that they had SO much fun at my wedding.  Parents and family on both sides were impressed by how great the wedding was.  For all you brides planning and agonizing over details, please remember that at the end of the day, if something minor goes wrong, you’ll be the only one to notice it.  Everyone else will just remember the vows, food, drinks and the dancing!

  • Calling all Houston brides!

    To all the Houston readers,

    I will be in Houston from December 29th to January 1st.  I know its just a couple of nights, but if there is enough interest, I wanted to have a Weddingbee meetup. 

    Please let me know if anyone is interested in meeting up on Saturday night (December 30th).  If there are enough replies, we will decide on a time/location later.  If not…..then I guess I will use that time to go eat some pho! 

    Sincerely,
    Mrs. Butterfly

  • Married Life

    Has anything changed since we’ve been married?  Well, not really.  We have a new apartment, but other than that, our lives are pretty much the same.  But we did recently merge our bank accounts together and now I’m learning to cope with sharing accounts.  I can no longer go on a shopping spree without knowing that it affects someone else too. 

    Although I must say, it is nice to have two paychecks.

    So in terms of money, we are learning to compromise.  For example, Mr. Butterfly is a heavy debit card user.  He’d rather use the debit card than carry cash, which is fine.  However, when I’m keeping track of the money going in and out of our account, I find myself going crazy with the daily $2.05 Starbucks purchase.  Its TWO dollars!!!!  His reasoning is that he doesn’t want 95 cents in change, whereas I think its ridiculous to charge two dollars to a debit card.  So we have learned to compromise, and he now buys a Starbucks card in $50 increments. 

    What happens when I want to buy something expensive?  See, I really (really really) wanted a Temper-pedic bed but my DH (dear husband) did not want to spend that much on a mattress.  But he really (really really) wanted a 42″ flat screen plasma TV, and I didn’t want to spend that much on a TV.  So we “compromised” by letting each other have the items, and promised to never bring it up as an unjustified cost in the future.

    Other than that, things are going great for us.  I am so happy to be in our new apartment, which is huge (by Manhattan standards – over 900 square feet!)  I also can’t wait to go to Houston to visit my parents, because this will be the first time that he and I will be allowed to share a room!  At least, I think my parents will be OK with that.   

    Happy holidays to everyone at Weddingbee!

  • Things I Would Have Done Differently….

    I was thinking about my wedding the other day….who am I kidding.  I think about my wedding every day.    Why?  Because I can’t wait to get my pictures, and when I start thinking about all the beautiful shots, I start playing the wedding over and over in my mind.  Also, I went to Mrs. Snail’s wedding this past Sunday, so I’ve been surrounded by weddings.

    Anyway, I was thinking about my wedding the other day, and tried to think of the things I would do differently if I could do it all over again.  I have definitely learned more about wedding planning and as stressful as it was, I had a lot of fun.  But there are things I would change.

    1.  Favors – as much as I loved the idea of candles and matches, I think the favors could have come out a bit better.  I would have ordered several candles from different companies to see which one I liked best.  Also, I would have spent more time designing the images for each item.  I think I just ordered them way too early in the planning process, because I didn’t have a full vision of what my wedding would look like. 

    2.  Out of Town Bags – I liked how these turned out, but I definitely could have made them more personal.  We didn’t provide any water bottles because in the end, we only had 4 bags to give out (2 of them being my parents who stayed in the hotel for only 1 night). 

    3.  Hot Chocolate Bar - Hot chocolate was supposed to be poured for the guests as they were leaving, but I don’t think anyone saw them.  I kinda regret spending money on this, only because no one took advantage of it.  If I did it again, I would make it more prominent and I would have written about it on the menu.

    4.  Save The Dates – I liked the way mine turned out, but I think I could have done more research.  The magnets were glued on to a piece of cardstock, but it could have been more creative and personal.  Plus, when you accidentally scratched the magnet, the picture scraped off and it left a big white mark. 

    5.  DJ – I definitely should have shelled out more money for a better DJ.  Again, I attribute this to lack of research.  I would be on those message boards day and night for recommendations.  I think its very important to get recommendations of the vendors within your price range.  I personally spent 3 times more on flowers than I did on a DJ, and I’m sorely regretting that now.  I would have cut a few things out of my flowers and spent a few more hundred bucks on a better DJ instead. 

    I think that’s it for now.  Now, what would I change if I had an unlimited budget?  Hmmmmm…….

     

  • Things That Went Wrong…

    With the months and months of planning, you just dont think that anything is going to go wrong on your wedding day.  Even though everyone tells you something will go wrong, you just can’t conceivably imagine what could go wrong.  I mean, I am pretty organized and I had a schedule of the entire day printed out for each person in the wedding party.  Seriously, what could go wrong?

    As it turns out, several things can go wrong.  My wedding went pretty smoothly but there were definitely times when things did not go according to plan. 

    1. The night before the wedding, we were all supposed to get our nails done, but because of the horrendous traffic we had to wait until after dinner.  Not many nail salons are open past 8pm.  We found one, but the manicurists were about to leave.  I panicked and said “but I’m getting married tomorrow!!!” before they did our nails.  I gave them a hefty tip.
    2. I forgot to bring a button down shirt, so I had to borrow my bridesmaid’s pull over to get my hair done. 
    3. The hair salon opened about 15 minutes late, and even then only one person showed up early.  Everyone else came in between 30 to 45 minutes after the shop opened.  Then we had to add 2 more people who wanted to get their hair done last minute. 
    4. I forgot to bring my tiara and veil to the hair salon, so my bridesmaid had to take a cab back to the hotel and get it.
    5. My mom and my cousin were supposed to show up to my hotel by 2pm to get their makeup done.  It was 2:30 and they were still not there because of they made a detour.  This is where I had a gigantic really minor temper tantrum.  I gave out schedules of who needed to be where at a certain time!!  How hard is that to follow? 
    6. Even though I ordered lunch almost as soon as we got back, the restaurant barely brought up the food in time.  We were scheduled to leave at 2:00, but we didn’t end up leaving until 2:30.
    7. This is why we had no time to take pictures in the West Village.  All of our outdoor pictures  with the bridal party was taken in Washington Square Park.  The pictures came out great anyway (from what I’ve seen) so this turned out OK.
    8. I almost forgot to bring my husband’s wedding band to the ceremony.  I had to have my bridesmaid run up and get it (poor BM!!)
    9. I forgot to bring the veil to the venue. 
    10. The officiant was supposed to show up at 5:15, but he showed up at 5:40 due to heavy traffic.  Again, no one knew except me, so it turned out OK.

    I think the rest of the night went fine, and if things went wrong after the ceremony, I didn’t know about it.  And even though all of these things went “wrong”, my wedding day was a complete success.  I loved the way everything turned out so I have no complaints. 

  • Vendor Review, Addendum

    Ah!!  How could I forget about my paper and invitations vendor?

    Invitations and Other Paper Items – Custom-Programs
    Oh, how I loved my invitations.  Unfortunately, due to a small mistake, I will have no professional pictures of them.  Boooooohoooooo!  I will, however, have pictures of my escort cards, menus, table cards, and programs.

    menu2   Picture 004
    Here are some old examples of what I posted before.  I know I’ve said this like a thousand times, but when I get the professional pics, I will post up all of the details!  I absolutely loved every single piece of work they did for me and their customer service is amazing!  My favorite part is that they send you multiple versions of everything before getting approval to print.  And the designs are so much better than anything I could ever come up with.  I would highly recommend them for any invitations or other paper needs.

    Final Rating:  A+

    Ok – I know that I’ve given most of my vendors really good reviews, but honestly its because I had the best vendors!  I swear!!!

  • Vendor Review, Part II

    Here are the rest of the reviews!

    Wedding Dress – Casablanca (MyrJan Bridal)
    I absolutely loved my wedding dress.  The alterations were done by Fancy Cleaners (check the Tuesdays “Sales” blogs!).  Everything about the dress was perfect!  The veil was from MyrJan and the tailor altered it because I didn’t like the original length too much.  MyrJan bridal was good to deal with as a vendor.

    Final Rating (MyrJan):  B+
    Final Rating (Fancy Cleaners):  A

    Bridesmaid Dresses – CocoMyles.com
    I got sooooo many compliments on the bridesmaid dresses.  And people’s jaws literally dropped to the floor when they found out how little they cost!
    bridesmaid dresses
    You can’t see too much detail here.  When I get my professional photos, I’ll post them up, I promise!  Anyway, I cannot say enough good things about this place.  Their customer service was SUPERB.  By far, the best vendor I’ve dealt with for my wedding, and all my vendors were pretty good.  I paid about $150 to $160 for the regular dresses, and its a lot cheaper if you dont buy a shawl.  Its definitely worth checking out.

    Final Rating:  A+

    Tuxedos (not groom’s) – Dante Zeller Tuxedo
    Their service was great.  I had everyone who rented a tux come to the store on Thursday before the wedding to try it on.  They keep great records which makes life so much easier.  We rented 11 tuxedos and each one of them fit great.  When I rented, they had a deal where you get 1 free rental for every 5, and you can distribute the savings across the 5 so that each tux comes out a bit cheaper.  The only thing was they mixed up two of my groomsmen, so they had to mix/match the pieces on the day of the wedding.  Otherwise, a much better choice (in my opinion) than Men’s Wearhouse.

    Final Rating:  A-

    Limo service – Crestwood Limo
    My husband loves this company.  They were absolutely amazing.  They were on time, for one thing.  And it was a really smooth drive.  Plus, they do not charge you the ridiculous “wedding package” price.  It was $150 per hour, with a 3 hour minimum.  Not too shabby for a 16 person Escalade limo!!  We also rented two SUV’s for family and our transportation at the end of the night for about $70 to $75 per hour.  The 20% gratuities are not included in the pricing. 

    Final Rating:  A

    I can’t think of any more people to review.  If anyone wants me to review a specific portion of my wedding, please leave a comment!  I will also be giving away certain items in the near future, so keep reading!